What ChatGPT Can Teach Us About How to Write a Strong College Application
In November of 2022, ChatGPT, the chatbot launched by OpenAI, exploded onto the scene of social consciousness. How text generated by computer software powered by artificial intelligence (AI) will shape and change society remains to be seen. Many questions are raised in the domain of college applications: how will colleges respond to this new tool? Will they reduce their reliance on or eliminate essays? Will they revise essay prompts to minimize the potential for students to be able to use ChatGPT to write their essays? How will they know if students have written their essays independently without using ChatGPT?
Just recently (January 2023), the University of California system wrote to applicants:
All personal insight responses were reviewed by an anti-plagiarism software program in early January. Notifications were sent out earlier this month via email to students whose responses require verification of their authenticity. Notified applicants have the opportunity to demonstrate that their PIQ responses are their own work and were provided further instructions on how to do so. Applicants who are unable to provide evidence that the PIQs are their own work or who do not respond in the designated timeframe will have their UC application withdrawn. If an applicant has submitted an appeal, they will receive a final decision regarding their cancellation in early February.
This is undoubtedly just the beginning of steps that colleges and universities will take to modify their application review practices.
What type of college application essays does ChatGPT produce?
The goal of a personal statement is to share more with colleges about yourself that they can otherwise learn from your application components - who you are as a person and what makes you unique and different from other students with similar grades, courses, standardized test scores, and activities. A powerful personal statement humanizes you, makes an emotional connection to the reader, and persuades an admissions officer that you are the type of person they would like to have in their campus community.
I decided to write my own personal statement as if I was applying to college and see how my response would compare to one produced by ChatGPT.
Case Study Part 1: My Personal Statement
This is the prompt I selected, Common Application prompt 1:
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (maximum of 650 words)
I chose to write about advising a student considering a medical leave of absence with the intention of showing that I am caring and empathetic. It is important to note that I did not write about an actual student. Instead, my account is based on hundreds of conversations I’ve had with college students.
This is the personal statement I wrote:
I shut the door, pull out the chair for her, and drop the blind on the window that runs down the side of my office door. She sits down, fighting back tears.
Wheeling my rolling desk chair over, I join her where she is seated.
It is scary for some students to have to go to see the dean. Over many years of supporting anxious students, I’ve learned what they need to feel at ease, heard, and cared for. The little round table in the corner of my office is tucked in right when you enter, the most private spot in the room. It is just the right size for two people to sit and talk, face to face, at the same height, with no barrier and little distance between them.
Above us is a bright yellow, red, and green banner that spells out “Thank you Dean Stephan”; a gift from a student I helped to study abroad in Ghana.
Cards from students thanking me for having helped them line the windowsill that runs the length of the far side of my office. We are bathed in a sunbeam. I ask her, “Do you want me to shut the blinds to keep the sun out? I love the sun and its warmth, but I know not everyone does…” She says no, she likes it. I’m glad.
She has been depressed for weeks. She’s been receiving treatment but continues to struggle. We met last week to discuss her possibly taking a medical leave of absence for the semester.
“How are your classes going since we met? How are you doing?”
“Not well,” she says, eyes down, her body small. “I’m even further behind.” She starts to cry.
I move the tissue box closer to her so she can reach it and pull the wastepaper basket closer, too. She takes a tissue and wipes her tears.
I ask her, “Would you run a marathon on a broken leg? Pushing forward with classes while depressed is like that, you know.”
She takes a deep breath, “I should be stronger. I should be able to do it.”
“What would you say to a friend who was in your situation? Would you tell them to stick it out?“ She quietly looks aside at this. “Of course not,” I say. “Be as kind to yourself as you would a friend.”
I tell her, “It is strong to take a step off the expected path. It is strong to ask for help. It would be so much easier not to have to explain to others why you are taking time away.”
I can see that she is scared. I say, “I’ve worked with so many students who have taken a medical leave of absence, and I’ve never had a student regret taking one. It is so hard not to be the student you are capable of being.”
I see she is listening, so I continue, trying to address what I imagine her fears to be. “Wellesley is not going anywhere. It has been here for 150 years. It will be here when you are healthy, have addressed the issues interfering with your being the student you are capable of being, and are ready to return. I will be here to help you while you are away and when you return.” Softly, gently, I tell her all these things. “If you need to hear this all again, I will say it again, as many times as you may need. You can come back in to see me or call me.”
I sit with her in silence as she processes my words. We take all the time she needs. While things are hard for her now, I know she is and will be OK. Later that summer, when she is home and healing, she calls me to ask, “Will you tell me again?” And I do.
Case Study Part 2: Chat GPT’s Draft
I created a ChatGPT account and typed the following into the tool:
Answer the following prompt in up to 650 words: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.” Write about my being a dean advising a college student considering a medical leave of absence with the intention of showing that I am caring and empathetic.
In 1 minute 14 seconds this response popped out:
As a dean at XYZ College, I have had the privilege of working with a diverse group of students, each with their own unique background, identity, interests, and talents. However, one experience that has been particularly meaningful to me is when I have the opportunity to advise and support students who are considering a medical leave of absence. Advising these students requires a deep level of care, empathy and understanding, which are values that I hold dear and that I believe are essential in providing the best guidance and support to students in need.
I remember one particular student who approached me seeking guidance and support regarding a medical leave of absence. The student was dealing with severe anxiety and depression, and it was clear that their mental health was severely impacting their ability to succeed academically and socially. The student was hesitant about taking a leave of absence, and was worried about the potential consequences it could have on their academic progress, and their future career goals.
I listened attentively to the student's concerns and provided them with all the information they needed to make an informed decision. I explained the process of taking a medical leave of absence, the benefits and potential consequences, and the resources and support that were available to them during this time. I also assured the student that their well-being was my top priority and that my goal was to provide them with the support and guidance they needed to make the best decision for themselves.
One of the most important things I did as a dean was to provide a safe and welcoming space for the student to share their thoughts and feelings. I understood that discussing personal health concerns can be uncomfortable, and I made sure that the student felt comfortable and understood. I encouraged the student to take the time they needed to think about their decision and to reach out to me if they had any further questions or concerns.
In the end, the student decided to take a medical leave of absence, and during the time they were away, I made sure to keep in touch with them and provide them with the necessary resources and support to help them make a smooth transition back to college life. I also worked closely with their academic advisor, professors, and student services staff, to ensure that they were able to catch up on missed coursework, and connect them with mental health resources to help them address any ongoing concerns they may have.
The student eventually returned to college, stronger and more resilient than ever before. They were able to catch up on their coursework and was able to graduate on time. The student shared with me that the leave of absence was the best decision they ever made, as it allowed them to focus on their mental health and well-being, which ultimately led to their success.
This experience was a reminder of the importance of being a caring and empathetic advisor, and the impact it can have on a student's life. It taught me that as a dean, it is not only my responsibility to provide students with the necessary resources and support, but also to create a safe and welcoming space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. It is also important to approach each situation with compassion and understanding, and to always keep the student's well-being as the top priority.
In conclusion, my background, identity, interest and talent as a caring and empathetic dean, has been meaningful in guiding and supporting students who are considering a medical leave of absence. I believe that it is essential to approach each student with a deep level of care, empathy and understanding, and to provide them with the necessary resources and support to make the best decision for their well-being. And in this way, I can help students to achieve their academic and personal goals and be successful in their lives.
What makes a personal statement compelling?
As previously mentioned, a compelling personal statement humanizes you, makes an emotional connection to the reader, and persuades an admissions officer that you are the type of person they would like to have in their campus community. It differentiates and individualizes you. Which essay achieves this goal more effectively, the one I wrote or ChatGPT’s? Which dean would you rather meet with or have your child meet with if they needed help?
I assume that you are thinking, the real dean - me. My personal statement powerfully connects emotionally with the reader and includes numerous details to show me as a human who empathetically cares for my students.
What the Chat GPT version was missing
In contrast, the Chat GPT essay does a lot of “telling” and carries a sense of emotional distance from the “dean.” It is hard to find anything remotely personal in it. If an admissions officer were reading the ChatGPT amongst a sea of applications, this dean would not stand out or be memorable. If one of my students wrote this essay, I’d steer them away from what they think admissions officers want to hear and towards telling their unique story - the one that only they can write.
What can we learn from this case study?
How ChatGPT works can teach us a lot about how to write a strategic essay. The technology underpinning ChatGPT takes enormous amounts of existing writing (training data) and "learns" from it, producing a new piece of "writing" from this data. What it creates is a mashup of what is already available. By definition, AI writing is not individualized. Of course, the technology will improve over time. However, in its current form, if you are looking to write standout application essays, AI can't replicate how personal and creative application responses should be. If it sounds like AI could have written it, it's probably not strong enough.
